How to Stop Devaluing Yourself in Relationships
By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I remember being asked a simple question:

“What do you want in this relationship?”

And all I could come up with was:

“I want him to love me.”

That was it.

I hadn’t thought about how I wanted to feel.
I hadn’t defined what I would or wouldn’t accept.
I didn’t have standards — I just had hope.

And if a man acted like he might eventually love me, that was enough for me to stay.

That mindset cost me years.

Years of being taken for granted.
Years of being devalued.
Years of trying to earn something that was never mine to earn.

The Misunderstanding

Many women believe that if we are supportive enough, patient enough, and loving enough…

A man will eventually see our value.

We think:

“If I’m there for him… if I understand him… if I help him through his struggles… he’ll choose me.”

But what actually happens is something very different.

When you over-give, over-tolerate, and over-accommodate…

You don’t...

Why You Don’t Have to Compete to Be Chosen
By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

I once heard Steve Harvey tell a woman:

“Quit acting like he’s the prize. You’re the prize.”

That really stayed with me.

She was trying to figure out how to get a man to want her — how to say the right things, do the right things, be the kind of woman he would choose.

And his response flipped the entire dynamic.

When You Think He’s the Prize

Many women — especially successful, single women — quietly believe that finding a good man is the goal.

We talk about friends who are “lucky” to have found someone great.

We start to feel like we need to position ourselves well… present ourselves well… compete, just a little, for attention.

And without even realizing it, we shift into a mindset where:

He is the prize.
And we are trying to be chosen.

That mindset leads to compromise.

We tolerate inconsistency.
We overlook disrespect.
We accept less than what we actually want.

Not because we don’t know better — bu...