Become Someone You Enjoy Spending Time With

Why Building an Interesting Life Makes You Happier—Whether You're Dating or Not

By Mary R. Dittman, M.B.A.

Most people can name every Kardashian, their children, and their exes.

But ask them to name five Supreme Court justices and you'll likely get a blank stare.

We live in an entertainment culture. We're constantly looking for stimulation, scrolling social media, keeping up with celebrity gossip, and consuming whatever happens to be trending.

At the same time, I've heard many women express a fear that men will find them boring.

My response?

The people who are interesting usually have interests.

I don't mean interests designed to impress other people. I mean things that genuinely light you up.

Maybe it's yoga.

Maybe it's knitting.

Maybe it's champion-level Tiddlywinks.

Maybe it's collecting vintage Tupperware.

Maybe it's renovating a dollhouse.

Whatever it is, people are drawn to passion.

And by passion, I don't mean romance.

I mean that state where your eyes light up, your voice changes, and you can't stop talking about something because you truly enjoy it.

People find that attractive.

Why Having Interests Matters

First, having interests means you won't expect another person to become your entire world.

I once dated a man who loved photography.

He told me he planned to sell all of his equipment because I wasn't interested in photography.

That terrified me.

Not because I suddenly wanted to learn about aperture settings, but because I knew what would happen next.

Eventually, he would resent me for giving up something he loved.

And I didn't want that responsibility.

I wanted him to have his hobby.

Then I could go do my thing.

Healthy relationships leave room for two people to remain fully themselves.

Second, your interests reveal your personality.

People enjoy talking with someone who is engaged in life.

I've loved dollhouses and miniatures since I was a little girl.

My father and I built a dollhouse together when I was ten years old. (Okay, let's be honest—my dad built it.)

I don't expect everyone to understand why I enjoy renovating miniature rooms, but people enjoy hearing me talk about it because they can tell I'm having fun.

Passion is contagious.

Third, having interests strengthens your sense of self.

If you're passionate about traveling, you'll be less likely to settle for someone who wants to spend every weekend sitting on the couch.

If you're passionate about fitness, you probably won't abandon your exercise routine because someone you're dating thinks it's silly.

People respect individuals who don't throw away their priorities to gain approval.

That's confidence.

The Real Goal

The goal isn't to become interesting so someone else will choose you.

The goal is to become someone you enjoy spending time with.

Too many women postpone their lives while waiting for a relationship.

They assume they'll travel later.

Take classes later.

Develop hobbies later.

Volunteer later.

Learn Spanish later.

Decorate their apartment later.

But your life is happening right now.

And one of the best gifts you can give yourself is to build a life that feels rich and meaningful today.

Ironically, people who genuinely enjoy their own lives often become more attractive to others.

But that's not the point.

The point is that you'll be happier.

And happiness has a way of making everything else better.

A One-Derful Life

Part of living a One-Derful Life is refusing to wait for another person to bring excitement, meaning, or purpose into your world.

Find something that sparks your curiosity.

Learn something new.

Cultivate a hobby.

Read books.

Take a class.

Volunteer.

Join a club.

Become someone you enjoy spending time with.

Because whether Mr. Right shows up tomorrow, ten years from now, or never, you'll already be living a life that feels full.

And that's a beautiful place to be.

If heartbreak has made it difficult to enjoy anything these days, check out my free training:

👉 ABC's of Healing
https://marydittman.mykajabi.com/abcsofhealing

It will help you move beyond the pain so you can get back to creating a life you genuinely enjoy.

Question: What is something you love doing simply because it makes you happy?